So, not to dwell on the negative little petty things that happen in our lives but I have felt so much more attacked since I accepted the responsibility to co-lead a Bible study this school year. We will be going through the book Power of a Praying Parent. More than ever, I have felt the tug on my heart to lift my girls up so much more in prayer, releasing them to the care of God and doing my part that God has asked of me as their mom. In the last 10 days since I picked this study I have been short with my girls, I have felt worn down and discouraged, I have been on the verge of every emotion women feel. I haven't felt more hurt than today when I let a total stranger stir in me anger rather than love.
We were at Target (for the 5th time this week) finishing up school shopping and birthday party favor shopping. I usually don't let the girls roam free in the toy aisles because we are curbing the "I want this" attitude, but Kiki just got birthday money from GG Sylvia so why not look. The girls head down the 2 girly aisles while I head over to the clearance stuff just to see the goodies. They are not unsupervised for more than 2 minutes and they are all together. As I turn the corner, the older girls leave the aisle and I see Mattie pushing a baby stroller with 3 other strollers folded on the floor (these came from a shelf above Mattie's reach), a Barbie box, and about 2 other toys in the middle of the aisle. I laugh and say, "What did you find?" There is a mom in the aisle by now as I start picking things up and putting them back (realizing that 3 of the toys came from another aisle entirely). I make some cute comment (with a little laugh)- "Wow, what a mess! She couldn't have done all this, I was only around the corner for 2 minutes"
All the mom said in a sarcastic tone was - "How long have you been a mom?"
Ummmm....What? Did I just get an ice skate to the knee? What does that have to do with anything? Because you have 4 kids from 3-13, you know more about raising children? Or is it that you know how fast a kid can destroy a toy aisle from experience and now you want to be all superior because it's happened to someone else? I'm "that mom" who's in denial about what a terror my cute little 2 year old is?
I tried to let it roll off and just said - "I'm sure that my girls would have tattled on each other if it was my girls" to which she responded, "I'm sure." We left the toy section as fast as we could before I said something I would later have to apologize to my kids for.
By the time I got to the car, I was praying for that mom (even though I was still upset). I thought about how she must have needed to feel better than me at being a mom in that moment or maybe she thought she was teaching me instead of insulting me. Whatever it was, I am letting go. I need to realize that the situation got heightened in my mind because of the spiritual battle inside right now. I don't need others telling me I'm a good mom for it to be true. I need to be looking to Jesus and following Him. I want to encourage all of you moms reading this - you are doing a great job even on the days you don't think so! Your kids are safe in God's arms and He loves them more than we love them.
3 comments:
yey for you, christy! i just had a similar experience TODAY and am still reeling from it. i get so worked up when other moms make comments to me about my kids. i really appreciated your take on it and here i am trying to let it go right alongside you!
I don't know why but I have seen this in mom's. Some kind of competition to one up each other so they can feel wise and superior or something. Much like the "every mom in the room tells their birth horror stories to the poor first time mom at the baby shower".
The saddest thing of all is that sets such a bad example for kids who are privy to all that stuff.
I know you are good mom, it's obvious, maybe that lady was tired, worn out and cranky. She may be having PMS or a really bad day. Or maybe she just isn't having a very good time in life in general and is bitter or easily set off. Whatever it was I'm sure it wasn't a true reflection on you and your parenting. It was more of a reflection on her.
Please be encouraged as it's plain that you have been under attack since Satan doesn't want you to lead a Bible study, the best way to discourage you is to attack you in parenting so you give it up. You are doing really well. I may have mouthed off at that lady more than you, so you are already setting an example (to your kids, and also to me). That was not failure!
Christy, I was so excited when I saw that you're leading that study. It's between that and another for me, so maybe we'll be on a prayer adventure together this year.
I absolutely agree that we moms need to support each other instead of being rivals. I'm sorry that lady discouraged you so much. A simple smile and "I've been there" would've been much more appropriate. I remember one time at the grocery store, my girls were losing it, and I was on the brink of tears and doing all I could to hold it together and not scream at them. An older mom noticed me, put her hand on my arm, looked me in the eye, smiled and just said, "Hang in there." WHAT A DIFFERENCE. I instantly felt like I wasn't a failure and like she understood. If only we could all support each other in such simple ways.
Anyway, long comment. Sorry! All that to say, great post and I just know God has you in the right place at W2W this year. :) You clearly have a heart for moms and their kids, and know where to go for direction!
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