Inadequate Servant

I have been dwelling on the idea of adequacy these past few weeks. As the Casting Crowns song goes, "Who am I, that the Lord of all the Earth, would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?" or something like that. I constantly wrestle with who I have been called to be in Christ and who I am in my personality, my everyday living, and in my thoughts while I'm alone. I am not a natural people person, nor am I am extrovert. Growing up, I loved the show Grizzly Adams. Did you ever see that? I seriously had thoughts when I was younger that if I lived as a hermit in the mountains then maybe I wouldn't screw things up or say hurtful things or do dumb things that people would laugh about for years to come (I killed a cow once with a van - now that's comedy).
I have been trying to reach out and find more friends, to be enriched and be poured into. If only I had more wisdom, more time, more charisma to offer others, then I would be a better friend and have more friends. Instead of focussing on myself and what I do not have, I started praying for opportunities. I didn't really know what I was praying for or what I would be looking for, but I knew that God doesn't pass up a chance to challenge His children, especially when they ask for it.
Friends, my neighbors are hurting. They are crying out for change in their lives and they can't see an end. I have befriended our next door neighbor who is upside down on her rental properties and her own home trying to follow her dream of opening an elder-care home. She's so confused and overwhelmed. I have been able to help her pack, mow her lawn and pray with her. She has to move to the elder-care home since her administrator just quit but she doesn't want to lose her home in the process. I don't feel like I've done enough but it's what God has asked me to do right now. I have a friend who is lonely since her friend moved away. Their kids played together, they shared their lives together and life just won't be the same. We spent time together as families this weekend, we take their kids so she and her husband can go on dates, she and I talk, we'll get our kids together this summer for pool dates and play time, but it doesn't feel like enough. I have another dear friend in Christ who is struggling in her marriage. Her husband is rejecting Christianity right now and their kids can feel the tension in their home. We talk, I pray and encourage. It doesn't feel like enough but it's what God has asked of me right now.
I exhort you today - is there someone in your life you need to reach out to today? A phone call, a note to tell them you are praying, a prayer with them, sharing with them the hope that lies within your heart. Sometimes, it's the little things that God calls us to do that fit our personality, our giftings and our time line. Sometimes, God's calling takes us outside our comfort zone, making us wonder if we are the one He's really asking to step up to the plate and take on the burdens of others. Who am I? I'm not qualified, I won't say the right thing, I'm not the one, Lord. Hhhmm, probably not the only person who ever said that... Probably won't be the last person God will ever use, either. That's doesn't disqualify ME or you.
Be used today. Because He Is WORTHY!