In times of pain...

I realize that our time here on this earth is precious. At this hour, my boss and friend Kris is trying to process the impending loss of her mother. She has flown to Iowa to be with her family and they are now waiting. Her mother is terminal and has been given less than a month to live. Her mom informed the family last night - "Tomorrow will be my last day". She is in hospice waiting for her body to fail. The family has been up and down. I have talked to Kris at least twice a day, sometimes she's on the verge of tears and sometimes she is on control and it's business as usual.

Kris is not a follower of Jesus and so last night I was the one holding back tears as she retold what had happened to her earlier in the day. She had to be back today and was really stressed about missing work among others things. She asked God to help her through this pain and confusion of so much unknown. Almost immediately, God brought someone into her life that reminded her that she needed to be there for her mom. She recounted that a peace came over her as she started making arrangements for staying longer. The airlines changed her flight at no cost due to their bereavement policies, I will be going to the business closing in her stead (which is something I NEVER do but am capable of doing) and everyone in our business has been VERY understanding and patient. She realized that it was God and that was the only explanation for her peace after she prayed. THIS IS HUGE!!! This is my first glimmer of hope in our 5 year relationship. Please pray for the chance to really share eternal hope with Kris and for her salvation. Please pray that her family will all find peace as they say their final good-byes. 

 

Life is Full of Changes

I have always thought of myself as someone who likes change - in the 5 years after college I moved about 8 times (with a couple of housesitting jobs that served as "home" for a few months). I enjoyed packing/repacking, meeting my neighbors, exploring all the hidden treasures of each new place. I've also had many jobs that have tapped into many of my talents. I've been a babysitter, house cleaner, tea hostess, waitress, photographer, marketing assistant, barista, children's ministry director, bookkeeper, and now lawyer's assistant among other things. 

Okay, so here's the thing. Tracy got me a new computer (which I really needed for work). He went on and on and on (yes, I do still love you, T!) about how fantastic Mac computers are. So, I became convinced that it would indeed make my life easier and I would too be in love with a Mac Book. I have had this thing for almost a week and I don't remember a more challenging change in my life!

The parts of my job that I got very good at on my PC take me more than double the time. Some of the features that I enjoyed on Word, they don't offer on Mac Pages. Oh, I have questioned the choice quite a lot this week! Tracy even purchased tutoring sessions for me with our local Apple store. I have a YOUNG 20-something teaching the "old lady" anything that I want to know. How humbling! 

I have had to take some deeps breaths, calm down, and realize over and over that the old adage is so very true, "the more I learn the less I know". I am learning more about myself and how I am wired. I have to wrap my mind around whatever my new endeavor is, think through possible obstacles and have plausible solutions just in case. At the core, I have a compulsive need to feel in control.

I'm daily letting go, learning more about surrender and am becoming a student all over again. Can't wait to say - I love my Mac and can't imagine why I didn't become a convert earlier. For now, if you feel a gust of wind as you walk out your front door in the days to come, don't worry, it's just me trying to stay calm and letting out a HUGE SIGH!!!

Approaching the Throne

I was away this weekend on a Women's Retreat sponsored by our amazing church family. We (bout 80 of us) took a trek through the mountains and landed in Buena Vista, Colorado. The first night was short and morning came quickly. I was so very tired but I knew I had to get out of bed to join the early risers for the continental breakfast since brunch would be 2 1/2 hours later and I would be starved if I didn't get a snack. As I returned to the room, still unsure why I chose to be awake so early, my mom opened our blinds to see a very friendly deer. He and I stood staring and talking for many moments. I let him know that I wanted him to stay so that I could capture him on camera. He of course was very curious about me so he approached our room and waited for my return. We chatted - he was a great listener and I was a happy talker. He posed for me, taking beautiful steps and making regal poses. As I left our rendevouz, my spirits were lifted and I was at peace that I was exactly where I needed to be for the weekend.

He was an amazing reminder to me that he seemed to trust me although he had no idea if I would pick up a stone and hurt him, if I would indulge him and give him something to eat or if I just desired to take in his beauty. There was caution but no looming fear that I would be anything but kind.

Aren't we invited before the throne of our King much in the same way that this sweet creature was wooed to my room that morning? In awe and in the stillness, we approach knowing that although our God has power beyond our comprehension there is a peace as we know that God delights in our presence. We can come before his throne, have sweet words with our Maker and leave with a sense that we were meant to be in fellowship in that very moment. Oh, dear friends, I pray that whatever turmoil, struggles, or hard times you are experiencing, come before the throne knowing you are safe, you are adored and you can have a peace that passes all understanding. 

Easter Memories

Searching for the last eggs of the day